Me From the Future

The other day I met someone that I'm frightened is actually me from the future. This guy did everything like me, cracked jokes like me, and finally looked a helluva lot like me. The biggest difference was he looked to be mid-twenties to late-twenties while I'm sitting comfortably in the late-teens.

It all started with me heading the bus stop down by my house. I was looking at my phone when I heard, "Hey, buddy look out behind you." I barely had time to jump out of the way before some moron on a bike sped through the spot I'd been standing in not even a second before. The guy then started talking about how annoying seeing bad bikers on the sidewalk when legally they should be on the road. I completely agree, and told him. We only really talked for a couple minutes, but this guy was throwing down some truly awesome vibes. At one point the wrong bus drove by and on the side of it it said 'Green Power'.... And this is when this guys true comedic genius came out. He didn't think that green power was a legitimate thing, he believed that it was definitely some propaganda. Truly this man had me in stitches the entire time he was talking. He decided to prove to everyone that green power was not nearly as difficult to attain as advertised. How did he do this you might ask? Well he picked up a piece of garbage from the ground and threw it in the garbage bin... BAM GREEN POWER!

There were two main clues that led my imaginative mind into thinking that this was me from the future. For one his reaction when he saw a woman walking beside her partner who was pushing the baby stroller. At first the lady walked by and he remained silent, then when the man strolled by pushing the stroller he piped up, "You sir, are a great man. Thank you." The poor guy pushing the stroller had almost no idea what happened, but i knew. Because as he had been approaching the future Filip went on a tangent about how that was a real man, treating his woman like a queen. It gave me an eerie feeling of deja vu because I've said almost the exact same thing as he did to some guy I saw with a stroller before. But finally when he got off the bus he said, "Have a good one Filip." The only issue was that I don't recall giving telling this guy my name so the only logical conclusion is that he was me from the future... Or something like that

My Health Mentor

It's nice, because I've been preoccupied lately, and haven't been doing my usual stuff like having random interactions with strangers. Yet somehow I've been having a decent amount. In my last post I talked about only meeting one person, but i mentioned meeting a couple during the day. The other funny interaction I had was outside of coffee culture as well (I was waiting a really long time.) This one involved an ecstatic woman who really seemed to care about her vitamins. Honestly this lady caught me more off guard than the homeless man. She rounds the corner and first thing she says to me is, "are you sick?" Now then, I have been sick for the past few months, it's just been waves of minor cold symptoms and the occasional days where I don't leave my bed. Since she guessed so well I went along with it. She started rambling, and when I say rambling I literally couldn't get in a word. She started telling me about how important it was to get my vitamin C and D, I replied. "I get enough of the C, but I try to avoid getting the D!" She didn't really get the joke and kept on going without missing a beat, talking about zinc... which is something I don't even know how people get. I tried telling her this, which did absolutely nothing to stem the flow of knowledge that was being dropped on me. Instead she switched topic to how I was great for reminding her to take her zinc for the day. She didn't stop there oh no she didn't, she just kept on going. Next thing I knew i was answering the question, "What did you have for breakfast? If you're sick you need to eat healthy!" I told her I had eaten eggs because A, it was true, and B it would give me an opportunity to talk about Omega-3's which she hadn't touched on yet. Still I didn't even have a chance, the second I mentioned Omega-3's she started thanking me for reminding her she still needed her daily Omega-3's. This went on for about another minute or two before she just dipped. I mean she literally just turned around and left, I'm not even sure whether or not she heard me yelling, "Have a good day Mme!". Over all that was one very peculiar day with some very nice people. Now i know though, zinc is important.

Nice guy

The other day I went to get a tattoo drawn out and estimated, but throughout the day I had some weird interactions. I've never had a tattoo before so I figured I'd go down with one of my friends that has already had work done. She friend was supposed to come pick me up around 11:30, but came a good two or three hours late. Which I'm quiet thankful for because it let me meet a couple peculiar people. Actually peculiar is a rude way of saying it, quirky is more accurate. Considering the stuff I do I'm really not allowed to call anyone "peculiar". But anyways, it all started down by coffee culture uptown when I was just hanging out waiting for my friend. I remember looking behind myself and seeing a big man lumbering towards me. I could tell he was homeless, but I don't care about that crap. Homeless people always have cool experiences to share. I also had a feeling he was going to ask me for a cigarette. Sure enough that happened, I gave him one and expected him to go on his way, but he didn't. He lit it up right beside me and started asking me questions about myself. I wasn't too taken aback. And I had already been waiting for like an hour so I figured what the hell. It was cool, he started asking me about what I was doing for school, I'm not sure why, but I said I was in university. I wasn't planing on lying, but somehow it happened... Really it just slipped out, I was going to correct myself, but by then this man had already taken off! he just started talking and talking, which I didn't mind being the chatty son of a beautiful woman that I am. He ended up leaving shortly after that, and having absolutely nothing to do I bought the first comic book of my life. (I've always been more of a real book rather than comic book kinda guy.) 

You'd think that would be the end of it all, but no... He was back. I was perusing through my comic book, Captain Canuck, when out of no where this massive man just rolled up on me... "Eyy buddy you think I could grab another smoke?" I did a little jump, but of course it's just a smoke and I had no problem hooking him up again. We got to talking and I realized just how nice of a guy this man was. It made me sad that such happy and nice people can be put into such terrible situations. He asked why I had been uptown all day just wandering around, I told him how I was waiting for a ride to Berlin tattoo and he started telling me that it's the best tattoo place in town. He started saying how the place was very clean and safe which led to me joking about how cleanliness is important or you might get hepatitis or something while getting a tattoo done. He took on a more serious tone of voice and started asking about whether I was into drugs, drinking, all that stuff. I replied that I might partake in the more than occasional hand rolled "cigarette" and beer. But that was about the extent of my substance abuse, he told me to shape my shit up and wait until I was done with school to do those sorts of things. It actually clicked hearing that, because he must have done something to end up in his situation. I don't mean that as an insult, but i'm doubtful he wanted to be homeless at any point in his eyes. Most people don't wish for that. It hit 1 o'clock and he needed to go meet his friend at the library. But before that he needed to use a phone, and I like to help people when I can so I let him use mine. And just like anyone else that uses my phone when he was done with it I got it right back, he was another man just like any other... to be honest he was better than most people. Everyone is in such a hurry that they won't even talk to a homeless man for an hour, or their too distrusting to allow a stranger to use their cellphone. This guy was honorable and kind. I wish that one day I can help people put into terrible positions, regardless of whether it's their fault or not... Humans should help humans 

Grocery Store Life

This wasn't too exciting, more of something sorta funny. I was with my buddy at Zehres yesterday and he was being the absolute worst for deciding what he wanted to eat I just grabbed a sandwich but it took us 20 minutes to find him snacks. We were down in the health food aisle when I saw rice crisps... Imagine my surprise when he said he didn't like rice crisps! I was flabbergasted and needed to know, who was the weirdo... him or me! I quickly stopped a random lady shopping beside me and asked her what she thought of rice crisp. She was definitely taken aback but finally she sided with me. We started talking about our favorite flavors of rice crisp, I personally enjoy the regular ones, she was a salt and vinegar fan... Gah. Maybe for chips, but not rice crisps! She then asked me why I was even asking about such a random topic and I let her know that it was because my friend hated rice crisps and was an odd duckling for sure! She chuckled and told me not to stress about it as it was, "His loss." By this time I had lost my friend and had to bid this lady adieu, and I left to go find my buddy. It was an over all weird... I can safetly say this was the first ever in depth conversation I've had about rice crisps.

Day = Made

I left school early because my face was hurting like hell. I was hungry when I got home and figured I could go grab some chili at Timmies. When I got my food I sat down at the table beside an elderly lady's. After starting to eat my food she got up to leave, imagine my surprise when she said hello. She asked me how my chili was, I was a little taken aback at first. True to form though I replied, telling her I liked it and that I'd noticed she had gotten soup. She started talking about how the only item she really likes here is the cream of broccoli soup. But it didn't stop there, enthusiastically she started talking about how she makes great cream of broccoli soup, but also has another recipe she specializes in. She doesn't make the cream of broccoli soup often though because she lives alone and she can't freeze it. So instead she'll make a soup recipe she found in a tv guide that she can freeze... And yes the recipe was found in a tv guide, it was from "Everybody Hates Raymond", the tv show.

That was the bulk of it, she left after that and wished me a good day. I felt amazing! Because I now know other people are similar to me, eccentric and willing to say "what up". She made my day, and she was a straight badass. Thank you!

I haven't been able to smoke all day...

but I still cheated, only once though. I did it right after getting my wisdom teeth out, instantly I regretted it and knew I couldn't risk dry sockets. It hit me then and there that I should take the dental hygienist's advice to stay hydrated... And let me tell you that was absolutely no problem. 

The story just needed some background, but seriously I'll get onto it; All day I've felt awful, first knowing I was about to get four teeth pulled, then eventually having them pulled. And the day just got worse and worse until just about an hour ago at 7/11. It was nice having an employee there successfully turn my day around today. I was involved in a lucky streak with the lotto tickets today, ever since turning 18 it's been a terrible downwards spiral (imagine absolutely no sarcasm), yet somehow I manged to turn it around today. Sauntering into a certain 7/11 which will remain anonymous because I believe this incredible employee was... overtired? Is it not clear what I mean? Forget about that (however keep in mind I was following the dental hygienist's orders to stay hydrated.) Anyways, I sauntered into the place ready to claim my price from the government and get a taquito and all I wanted was the most spicy, crunchy, piping hot taquito in store, but instead I actually had to ask for the softest taquito. To make things worse the employee had these bad ass dreads that made me long for when I had my "flowing locks" and this guy also had some really droopy eyes. Bottom line is he seemed very cool... and he gave me a good suggestion, the jalapeno cream taquito. Apparently this was the only taquito at 7/11 that didn't have anything more difficult to chew through than the outer-shell. It also pleased one of my three vices in the taquito domain. I'm also about 99% sure he gave me and extra seven dollars. I recall walking into the place with $18 worst of tickets and intently watching this man swipe my lotto tickets to a grand total of $18. But I'm not angry that I walked out with an extra seven dollars. But maybe I didn't I wouldn't want to get this guy in trouble, maybe I'm just not remembering the story correctly right?

 

P.S I know it may seem as if all these posts are about harassing people at work, but I try to be kind, and in this cold weather it's hard to find anyone to give you the time of day at all. I intend on persevering though, I try not to let myself stress out about that kind of stuff. If your a half glass full kind of person, then you must understand why I know someone soon will drop some truly gnarly knowledge. Thankfully I was given some good advice from the dental office for today, I don't know how else I would have made it. Adios mis amigos though!

I'm drowning!

You know those days when everything goes right? When everything just falls into place and things look great. I do, and today has not been one of those days so far. I went and had my wisdom teeth pulled today, all four of them. Being the "macho" man that I am I just decided no need to knock me out, just give me some local anesthetic and I'll be fine. Yes I am fine, don't worry about me, well really you should, because I sound like a fool. And I'm pretty sure this is what the lady at shoppers thought too. My birthday was just last month and this enables me to get my own prescriptions. So thinking I was an ace I decided to quickly stop by shoppers and grab my painkillers. By god did I sound absolutely foolish, slurring my words, face all swollen, gauze in my mouth, and worst of all I didn't even have everything I needed to get my meds. Turns out that when your under your parents healthcare you need some sort of card of theirs that gives the insurance number. Well I didn't know this until after I'd already asked for the painkillers. The lady couldn't stop laughing at me because every word that I spoke sounded absolutely ridiculous. After nearly ten minutes of small talk, mostly her sharing her epic tale of when she had her wisdom teeth removed, we finally thought of a solution. She told me that if I could remember my normal pharmacy then she might be able to call them and get my insurance number. This prompted me to start blabbering off all the possible pharmacies that it could have been. Sure enough after finding the right pharmacy it turns out this lady knew the owner and I could have just said, "Tom runs it, yo." By now what I expected to be a three minute ordeal has turned into over 15 minutes of madness and this whole time my mouth has been full of gauze. All I could think were the dentists words, "In 20 minutes you are gonna want to change that gauze." I was trying to contain myself, but I was literally drooling while standing around waiting for this medication. All in all it was an ordeal that I don't want to repeat, being laughed at while I drowned in my own blood was far from fun. Although the lady was quite pleasant while laughing at me, I just really wanted to go home, pop a painkiller and pass the heck out.

Sorry though, really

The amount of blogs that I have been pushing out is unquestionably appalling. I've been slacking, and for this I apologize. I will make it somewhat quick and painless though. The whole reason this blog is amusing and worth continuing with is because everything that I write about will be entirely true. And over the past few days I've either been working or sleeping. This being said, I will get caught up, I will make it my priority to meet more people this upcoming week and fill the quota for my lovely followers, but I refuse to risk the integrity of my blog by posting falsified information! 

Any fool with half a brain can come up with a funny story... The real fun begins when its real. Just something to think about

The funny thing about tonight is I didn't think there was any chance in hell that I would find anything blog worthy... Those are always the best nights (although blogging is new, hip, and cool to me). Even though tonight can't come close to comparing with some of the shenanigans that have been pulled at the McDonald's on Columbia (St I think) and King St (west, east, north, maybe south. I'm not exactly sure which way the compass points on King St in this area). But once again I need to post this because of the sheer "niceness" of the situation. Just a little bit of background, often when I go to any fast food driveway during the wee hours of the night I request extra smiles. Whether it be McDonald's, Wendy's, Tim Horton's (which have ripped me off seeing as I am currently 0 for 11 on the roll up the rim contest) I without fail request my extra smiles. But tonight was different, something eerie was in the air... I didn't even request extra smiles. Sure enough though the man approached the window saying, "$14.45 sir" with a massive smile one his face. Immediately I returned to my normal boisterous self and struck up a conversation. At first it seemed a little bit one sided, but he didn't really have any time to talk to be honest. Laughing as much as he was that was that is. For some reason the fact that he was the only McDonald's employee to have ever actually smiled while serving my "smart" ass after midnight just set me off. When I got a mere 55 cents as change I knew I had to donate it to Ronald McDonald's child foundation... Donation... The charity or whatever it is actually called (really tell me). But sure enough, when I looked at the damn windowsill there was no donation box! As stupid as I must of sounded, I asked this cheery chap where the "heck" his donation box was and as gracefully as a swan would (providing it could speak human language) he responded, "In my pocket buddy". This left the DD and me completely speechless, honestly I was just dying silently in the passengers seat. This prompted a quick back and forth about how 55 cents would be a pathetic tip for such a bad ass McDonald's employee. Unfortunately the cars behind me believed I had overstayed my welcome and it was time to leave, but not before this incredible employee assured me that my change would have safe passage from the drive-through window to the donation bin indoors.
I am sure that throughout this blog there will be many encounters that do not turn out nearly as well, I'm not so ignorant as to believe that I everyone appreciates such a "laissez-fair" attitude, but tonight I don't care. This post is dedicated to this brave employee, who against all odds smiled without so much as a request from me. Stay happy my friend... Stay happy!

P.S I hate Tim Horton's coffee... and I'm still 11 deep

talk about a cold shoulder

I was sloshing through the slush on my way home from school today when something suddenly caught my eye. While I was all bundled up, protected, and warm, this crazy man stood out in the cold wearing naught but a t-shirt, some pants, and a smile. This seemed like just the type of person that needed some cheer in his life. Now striking up conversation strangers is nothing new to me, but suddenly it's been given a purpose and this made me a little bit nervous. The thought of just walking on by crossed my mind, but I just couldn't let it happen, I knew exactly what to say. I sauntered up casual as could be and questioned this man on what he was doing out in this weather with nothing but a t-shirt on! I could tell he was taken aback when his smile started to quiver and shake, but I perceived and ended this meeting with a strong handshake. He was working on his car, and I'd seen enough people pass him by, he probably didn't even think the world still had any nice guys. He said his blinker was out and the police would pull him over for sure, I merely chuckled and replied. Don't worry about them, you seem pretty smart and I'm sure in a pinch you could come up with a lie as fast as the blink of an eye. At this point the man started to warm up to me, he let out a hearty laugh and began packing up his stuff. As he turned around to get out of the cold, I cracked one more quick joke and his response was to shake my hand. These are the people I love, the kinds who are not too concerned with themselves and although he was cold and probably upset he couldn't legally drive around, he still took the time to give me a proper farewell.